Short Story: Desiring and Uncovering

Desiring

Long ago I laid awake at night, wishing so hard upon a star. I said star, if you help me grow older. Will you save me from this nightmare that I’m living in? Yet I heard no answer from the star, because it’s a star, it couldn’t hear me. No clue who I was or about my existence. I was hopeless. I turned to God and told him to take me to paradise, that I may rest in his peace. He left me on read. I knew it was foolish of me to ask but I had to. For the sake of not waking tomorrow.

Every morning I would wake up the same. I love what the day offers and the things it brings but when night rolls around, I am trapped in head spaces that keep me up. I wish for the night to end because I don’t want to feel miserable. I would pretend to dream. As I close my eyes, I would watch the colors move and create shapes inside my mind. Instead of resting those shapes kept my brain active as I’d try to shift the shapes around in my mind creating images only I can see. By the time I knew it, it was already morning and I would hear the birds calling me to get up. 

The light in me slowly faded each day. I searched for a match to ignite my flame. I was looking for an excuse to live on. But just as quickly as the wick would ignite when I lit it, it would quickly fade away, and I was left with ashes on my fingertips as a remembrance of these failures. These quick pleasures left me unsatisfied yearning for something that would burn longer. Like a drug, I was desperate for something more. But what more was out there for me?

My desiring ached so deep inside I thought my heart would explode because I couldn’t reach it with my own efforts. I needed to help it find a way out, a relief from the pain that torments. The abandonment of a life. It was sealed and hidden deep; in a place I couldn’t reach. Ashamed for wanting a love that never existed. 

The Uncovering 

You met me in my place of abandonment. You cloaked me with kindness; it was like a shield. How did you know where I was? I thought I left my trail hidden. I ran to a place so far from home I wanted nothing to do with anyone. Yet you barged in here uninvited. With just your sheer presence you knocked down the walls that were meticulously built. Structured in a way where all the bricks relied on each other for strength but when one single brick is removed it all falls over. It was never stable, and I knew that. I was stuck in this room for so long that I was appalled by the state of the room when the sunlight finally uncovered the place I was hiding in. I don’t know how I got here. All I know is if you hadn’t come in time I would have suffocated and died underneath all the filth. Truly you are a knight in shining armor. Amazed by your beauty and authority, it’s like time stood still as you stood there with your hand extended outwards offering me a way out. I hesitated for a second, but your presence was enchanting. Captivated, my feet begin to move towards you. Like a moth to a lamp, I was attracted to the light. In one fell swoop you brought me in your presence, and I never looked back. This may not have been my wish for paradise but a greater love that fulfilled my desires. I couldn’t have made it out alive without you.

I strayed from my original intention of this story, but I love it more. Sometimes there's so much I wanted to say but I cannot convey them with the same passion. Anyway, thank you for reading!!

Important dates:

September 16: Comic Post

September: Blog post maybe

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